Spiritual Evolution

A hundred years ago people pretty much didn't live after 40. Disease, poverty, war and racial divides were a way of life and death, the medical breakthroughs in antibiotics and the ability to transplant organs just a dream of a few who could actually afford to have dreams. When you look back on history it's pretty obvious why people clung to religion to make it from day to day...They didn't have any room for spiritual evolution because they were focused on their now instead of their children's tomorrows. 

Those who were able to break their bind to home, family and community and get an education beyond their controlled world discovered there was more to living than simply surviving, than having a family and watching the younger generations continue on living while they grew old and left out of the world at large. Even today with the Internet humanity still looks for that 'Small Town' feel, they seek out those who believe like themselves, they read works by those whose words agree with their belief's and they're so damn determined to make their 'Faith' the only one they're willing to kill for it.

Most religions today are based upon a 'Paternal' Deity...Which is how men really like it because men who have tasted the power and authority that seems to come with their gender really, really become addicted to that feeling. 'God' is male. 'Jesus' is male. And I'm betting they thing the 'Holy Spirit' has a male presence. It wasn't always that way. The world use to be bound to a Matriarchal Social system and while I hate the whole quoting the Bible thing, the first chapter of Genesis uses the plural word 'Gods' and in chapter two the first time 'God' is mentioned in the singular the Hebrew word is female...You see, the one thing the 'Church' didn't contend with was the availability of information, though for each person who translates one way another will contradict them because...You know, men.

All this is getting to a point.

I watched the new series on Netflix, 'Sabrina', which followed the old(er) idea of Witches=Satan (And if you want a new drinking game that's promised to have you passed out on the floor take a shot after every time someone says 'Hail Satan'). This bothered me, a lot...Not because it's an inaccurate version of the way things were once upon a time, but because I remember that time really well. The group I use to belong to way back when I was still young was very much surrounded by the whole 'Satan is Free Will' idea and that's what attracted a whole lot of us to it...The 'Permission' a religion gave in order to let loose and live and I pretty much did just that. Before I reached 21 I broke all 'Ten Commandments', signed my soul away in blood and had a really good time...I was allowed to be me.

Looking around everyone likes to play a part. Father, mother, son, daughter, worker and so on...Every person is something different to someone else. You can't pin yourself down into a single word of description, sometimes not even with an entire book. Sometimes not at all. History has never been kind to those who bucked the system or tried to get others to embrace the 'Idea' of something different, something...More.

 When I worked at Waldenbooks (Back when there were book stores) I once got a call from an employee at another store. After a few hmmms and uhhhs they asked me 'Is it true you're, uh, you know...A Witch?' Not really where I thought the conversation was going but I told them yeah and it got strange after that. I have this little personal rule that if someone is brave enough to ask me a personal question (One that won't land me in jail though I have answered a couple of those to some close friends) I need to have the courage to answer that question. 

But I was able to evolve from that first taste of spiritual diversity. I grew, I learned and, thankfully, I never stopped learning. I've discovered a lot of people spend their time reading or watching endless hours of television in order to escape this crazy ass world but I don't spend my time in front of the TV...I continue to challenge my own idea of the whole meaning of life aspect, of 'God/s/dess' and 'Faith' and I know what I believe, but that's me. Granted, a lot of those stranger aspects of my life have been witnessed by others those aspects are a part of this life...I don't know what happens after death. I do believe in the scientific principle that energy is neither created or destroyed but changes. 

Death is a pretty huge change.

 I could quote a book full of scholars who have done the leg work concerning the theft of belief's from 'Pagan' religions that have been reworked for the 'Church'...I could point out the actual lack of any real proof that someone even remotely resembling 'Jesus' existed, pointing out that virtually every aspect of the 'Gospels' and the 'Messiah' character existed a hundred years before and was called 'Mithra'. It won't change anyone's mind...People believe what they believe, not because of the 'Facts' but because it fits in the way they want to live their lives. 

I've seen a lot of things which cannot be explained logically, perhaps with the advent of Quantum Science and Physics they might, but they're a very real part of my life and, yeah, I've made some huge mistakes, paid for most of them, still paying for some, but I survived all these years and I honestly haven't a fucking clue as to why. I believe there's a reason, there has to be because a great many people who were better at life than I am have left this world and aside from saying I don't think death is fair (That's kind of a no brainer) but life has to have a reason, a purpose and most of the time we never discover what our personal purpose might be...We just stumble here and there and we hope.

Sometimes we act.

 Life is weird and most of the time it's a pain in the ass. Every time we think we've figured something out we're hit with another idea that sets us on another path. I've finally just decided I'm actually glad of being an artist. I'm glad I made it in that world back when it was really difficult to make yourself seen...Today there are a million different avenues to show the world who and what we are. 

I'm a lot of things. 

I'm hoping I will continue to evolve before the darkness comes and I finally get to discover what's waiting for me in the grave. Whatever it is I have no one else to blame except myself.

The positive side is I also don't have, or need, someone to take that blame from me 'cause it belongs to me.

Evolve and we might have a chance of surviving these dark times. Or you can just stay in the dark and continue to watch your prayers not get answered and figure out some excuse as to why so that you can continue to remain in that one spot in your life.

In the end we're always alone with ourselves. In life and in death.

Make it count.